2013 in a Jar

New Year's Day 2013 I bought a red glass jar. Throughout the year, I would put notes to myself inside. Today on the first day of 2014 I turned the jar over and memories written post-its fell in my lap. Below is a peek into last year-no editing.

January 

1-1
You shared a smile with a stranger. You gave a homeless man $2 because his dog looked cold. You realized you idealize people.

1-3
I decided today to make this my year. #1-get my license, #2-get a car, #3-it's all about ME! :)

1-6
Since becoming involved in online dating, I've learned how to say 'no' and 'I'm not interested'. I know I don't have to always be nice. Liberating!

1-10
I have a great best friend that brings me juice when I feel sick. I love you Anne!

1-14
I was complimented, told I  was a 'lovely girl' and I didn't analyze the shit out of it. I just accepted it.

1-27
Even though I've been battling some sort of stomach thing, I woke up today feeling really good-positive and ready to take on the day. But first-a few chapters in my favorite chair while the world is still quiet.

February

2-1
I have a phone date tonight with a guy from the internet. His name is Mike, he bowls in a league and he has blond eyebrows. We'll see.

2-9
It's not often that you click so quickly with someone, but I have with James. I have hope that this time it works. But I'm also realistic. He has kind eyes.

2-15
Ran into a customer after a show and she said I'd saved her dog. Things like that always make my day. And the show (Gabriel Iglesias) was AMAZING!

2-16
He (James) wrote me a poem. He told me I was his Valentine and that he couldn't wait to see me again. I'm trying so hard to just let it be as good as it seems it is.

2-18
He told me he put on Star Wars because he knew I liked it and he missed me. James Scott is stealing my heart.

2-24
James Philip Scott

2-26
We're falling in love.

March

3-4
I'm so glad it feels like nothing I've felt before. I feel hope. Promise. Fear, but not doubt. No doubt.

3-5
I rode the bus from  his apartment in the city home and it helped me feel so adult. 35 and grown up. He helps me be the person I always wanted to be.

3-9
We made love. I felt the connection I had always hoped for. Not quite ready for the L word, but I know I'll use it.

3-23
A new work opportunity on the horizon. I get to teach!

3-25
He spent time with me. A week of shared dinners and coffee in the morning and bed. He reached for me in his sleep and kissed me goodbye.

3-29
I get to teach classes! First class is April 27th all about dog!

3-30
He said he was ready for me to meet his son. That he thought we could be friends. Felt AMAZING

April

4-2
I haven't looked into his eyes and said it yet. Not with words. I love him

4-3
"He's going to marry me."  "I know."  Of course she knows. She's my best friend and 'he' is wonderful.

4-8
I love him. I don't care that he's grumpy most times or that he over analyzes everything. I love how he runs through the house on his tiptoes and snuggles my hand under his chin to fall asleep.

4-17
I realized today that I loved him completely. I don't care about all the bullshit-I love him and I'll be here for him. Always.

4-21
I paid my rent and all my bills early.

4-22
He told me he loved me after I kissed him goodbye for work.  It surprised both of us and then, it just felt right.

4-25
I haven't felt sad in a really long time.

4-27
I taught my first class today. Just practice but it was so fun! And I did a great job!

4-28
"Your heart is so big."

4-30
"You look at least 24!"  (I'm 35)  AWESOME

4-30
From James: "I've been thinking about you all day."

May

5-1
I had a customer tell me I had a beautiful heart and that my beauty shone through my smile

5-15
I started telling myself today that I need to love me first. "I love myself." -hard to say

5-16
I don't have to like everybody

5-21
I successfully communicated with my boyfriend today

5-25
I helped someone learn today!

5-31
He called to say he missed me

June

6-5
He made me a box

6-23
He calls me sunflower sweetheart love baby

July

7-8
He loves me. He figured out how he was pushing me away and made changes to keep me.

7-20
I am not responsible for other people's happiness-only my own

7-21
He held my face in his hands and looked into my eyes and said with so much passion..."I'm so in love with you." My breath left.

7-31
It's all right to cry. Crying gets the sadness out

August

8-1
I am empathetic but I'm NOT pathetic. There is nothing wrong with having a big heart

8-4
I don't always have to do what everyone wants me to.

8-21
I am not afraid to take the bus by myself anymore. I can go anywhere.

8-27
I taught a class today and I felt like I really learned something from them. Great cat class!

September

9-15
Even when we don't get to see each other-I know he loves me still. Wonderful.

9-18
My apartment is clean and I got rid of lots of clutter. I like being here. This is my home.

October

10-4
I like my job. Even when it's hard, even when I get criticism. I just need time to absorb it

10-6
He kissed me goodbye, told me he loved me. Maybe someday we'll wake up together every day.

10-7
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing, but at least I know who I am.

10-10
I have a cat that likes to snuggle

10-13
I work hard and it shows

10-19
My staff respects me. I have wonderful friends. 17 years ago today I helped my unofficial godson join this world. Amazing.

November


December

12-8
I know I'm loved

12-9
I don't know if he loves me the same way I love him

12-29
We're over. It's for the best but it hurts

Undated

I'm reading again. I never really stopped but I'm falling in love with books all over again.

I am loved

My boyfriend likes my body, misses me when we're apart and holds my hand.

Sun through blinds paints warm lines

I love waking to the sounds of summer rain

Funny confident I am strong true kind open beautiful

I have a pair of jeans where my butt looks great!

Dad is on Facebook

Tonight I will see the Super Moon!

I handled a difficult work situation like a fucking champ

RELAX

I love finding a new book!

Dad casually mentioned the name of a girl and I didn't freak out.

IT'S OK

You have a great store, good employees and you smile more than cry.

Everything is something


.....Bring it on 2014.