What I'm Looking For

Occasionally I need to update my 'what I'm looking for' list. This usually happens after I've stopped dating someone. Learning from experience or other some such zen shit.

There are some standards...but for the most part, every few years or so, as I get to know myself a little more, it changes.

The stats:

I'd like him to be a bit taller than me. Mostly so I can snuggle my head up under his chin and listen to his heart beat in a cuddle.

His weight doesn't matter, though I'm not particularly attracted to small men. I like average to big guys since I'm an average to big gal.

Eye and hair color are irrelevant. But, I like eyes that smile and hair that isn't longer than mine. Also, no mullets.

How old he is can vary. I'd prefer someone in my age range as I've noticed that guys in their 20s are absolutely not what I want. Let's go with a window of 35-45. For now.


Not a heavy drinker, smoker or recreational drug user. Everything in moderation.
Not a tenant of his parents' house. But has a relationship with his family.
Opens doors for me
Is nice to waitresses, children and old people
Likes animals
Tolerates puns
Knows how to spell
Can create conversation
Can share quiet
Has successfully moved forward from all past relationships
Is glad gay marriage is now legal
Is glad marijuana is now legal (even if he doesn't smoke it)
Should probably smoke it
Likes movies and doesn't talk during them
Doesn't mind ear plugs (I snore)
Not afraid to burp or fart or pee while I'm in the shower (not pee in my shower, but pee in the toilet while I'm in the shower. And only pee. Everyone should poop alone.) Also, 'dutch ovens' are not cute.
Is willing to try and understand (or at least tolerate) my pms symptoms
Can recognize the beauty in the little things
Not a player, gigolo, or 'ladies' man', If it's me, I want it to be only me.
Is employed or has something to do with his time
Likes to laugh
Picks up the check now and then
Has a romantic streak
Believes in marriage
Will respect my me time
Will have his own me time
Can perform basic computer stuff
Has patience
Practices sarcasm
Knows which movies the following quotes are from:
"It's cold, it's wet and I'm just plain scared!"
"Dark have been my dreams of late."
"We all go a little mad sometimes."
"The time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things..."
and knows what an R.O.U.S, a scruffy nerf-herder and an Orc are
Is willing to eventually learn that those examples are only the tip of the iceberg
Knows when to be silly
Knows when to be serious


No doubt this list will be revised again but I think that's a good start.

Note to Self

There's a line from a movie, because there always is, and when the guy says he loves the girl she asks, "Why?"

He tells her it's because there isn't a part of her that doesn't feel everything.

I feel everything. It's exhausting. I also say whatever I'm thinking and I relate to people's stories. I'm too close to everything. Everyone. I feel electric, like my skin is just dancing...all the time.

Boundaries. Fences around my heart and thoughts to keep the bad guys out. But if I do that, if I close myself away, how do I let anyone in?

Balance. Don't give it all away. Don't keep it all to yourself. Take risks but don't be stupid. The world is scary but it's so very beautiful. Don't forget to live.

How do I know I'm going to have a guy that loves me because I love everything? You don't. Nothing is certain and everything is a possibility. Try to get out of your head a little and just let things happen.

Also, love doesn't happen like it does in the movies. It doesn't really happen like your parents had it either. Love is different for everyone and it might not even happen for you. Not because you suck or because you're unlovable but because it just might not. All that romantical stuff that you wish for  just isn't very likely.

That's ok you know. Because you have you. And you're kind of awesome. And when you ask yourself why, it's ok to say, "Because I feel everything."