Secret

Louise was standing in the bottom of the well, her shoes squishing in the mud beneath her feet. She looked up, shielded her eyes from the hole of light.

"It's kinda creepy down here." She called up, shifting her weight. Squish. She loved that sound.

Her friend stood 25 feet above her in a bright yellow rain slicker. It looked ridiculous on her but it was nothing compared to the matching hat and galoshes.

"No shit," Maryanne through down at her. "You're in a fucking well."

"Ooh double swear." Louise rolled her eyes and then shifted her gaze to the wall of the well. The stones were so dark and smooth. Her finger traced the edge of one slowly. She must have been terrified.

"Are you done yet?" Maryanne's tone dripped with impatience.

Louise sighed. "Fine. Drop down the ladder Hag."

She stood with her hands in her pockets, her fingers playing with 48 cents of change from that morning's coffee. 'It's so dark in here', she thought. And damp. The cold just seeps in....Louise shuddered and pulled her cell phone from her back pocket. The screen glowed in the shadows and she frowned. It had only been 3 minutes since her friend in yellow had walked away for the ladder.

It felt much longer.

Louise shifted uncomfortably. Where the hell was Maryanne?

Materialism Tangent

I hate those fucking jewelry commercials. There's always a sappy voiceover and a jingle that induces nausea, "Every kiss begins with Kay..." Close up of a vacant-eyed model with diamonds dripping down her throat. The whole commerical insinuates that if you give your woman jewelry, she'll shove her tongue down your throat.

Or a car. Chicks love a car. And if you get matching cutsie license plates, you're in like Flynn.

This is the time of year it begins. Not quite Thanksgiving and the commercials start.

I don't even know who to blame for this kind of stereotype. Is it the men that try to buy women with material things? Or is it the women that expect them?

I have never been the kind of woman that needs shiny things to make me happy. I'm  much more likely to put out if you tell me about the Lord of the Rings blu-ray set you wanted to get for me but couldn't quite afford. Because it would mean you knew I liked LOTR and you wanted me to have something that you knew I would enjoy.

Why is it that there is so much expectation to buy something of high monetary value? What happened to the handwritten card? When did I start to sound like my grandmother?

Getting older is interesting. It allows me to have this huge amount of experiences that no one else will ever have. One of the coolest things about meeting someone new is finding all the similarities you share. So you can swap experiences.

I kinda like getting older.

I remember listening to women that are my age now when I was barely 21 and thinking, "Jesus, they're so old."  I remember 35 being 'old'.  Well, not like walker with tennis balls old, but...old. But being 35 has allowed me to finally grow into me. I like what's on the inside of my skin and I'm starting to really be ok with the outside of it too.

Some kid today shuffled past me with his pants sagging past his kneecaps and a cigarette dangling from his barely pubed lip. "Damn girl, you beautiful," he leered and ok, yeah, I smiled a little.

That last little bit is a bit off of my point, but I think you can see how it works here. Ooo wait, can I use the term, "but I digress..." here?

Let's try it.

But I digress....

It is very much the thought that counts. It's about the fact that at some point, on your own, my likes and dislikes have been noted in your sexually soaked mind.

I'm an observant creature and I notice when you notice me. I don't need a new car or a diamond necklace. A kiss, for me, doesn't begin with 'Kay'. It begins with Orcs.

While I was here

Random thoughts while I play online bingo.

He's your ex for a reason. Stop thinking about him so much. Yes, you had a nice time with him the other night. Does that mean he's the one for you? NO. Fucking stop it.

Just what in the hell do they do at that church across the street anyway? More cars going in and out of the parking lot than a..well..a really crowded parking lot.

Remember when Garth Brooks was cool? Jeez that was a weird little phase.

How weird is it that the same guy makes Glee and American Horror Story? Both are scary.

My landlord is a flake. Almost 2 hours ago he said he would come by and fix the stupid outside light for me so I don't have to walk up a flight of stairs in the dark. Guess who hasn't done it yet. Ten bucks says he just forgot and has already left. Grrr  Three months after I moved in, the small handle on the spray thingy for the sink broke. "I'll be by next week to replace it." Going on 2 years later...

There are a lot of songs that remind me of mom. One of them is an emo gem-and every time it starts, I can hear her voice, " I can't stand to fly...."  Dammit I miss her so much.

Sometimes I wonder if people read too much into my Facebook statuses (statusi?)

Jesus online dating is lame. 

Just so you know

Jeez the last few entries on here have been depressing. My poor readers, if there are any, must think I'm on the edge of the bridge.

This is not the case.

Truth is, I'm pretty happy. I do have sad moments sometimes and when I do, the only thing I know to try and get through them is to write.

But work is good....and I was going to say other stuff was but as it turns out, work is still pretty much my main thing.

I did go see a movie last weekend with an ex boyfriend. We're trying the friend thing and so far, seems to be pretty good.

I dated someone for a couple months and he was nice. Just....not for me.

I feel more confident these days. Last night a guy even gave me his digits so you know, other people are noticing that I'm awesome.

But work, it IS consuming-Happy holiday season that started in September. Ugh.

But because of its consumption-I have to make this short.

For those of you that might read this regularly, I promise, I'm not downtrodden or sad all the time. Actually doin' pretty dang good.