Tangent

A comment left under a picture of Richard Hayne (http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/hayne.asp) reads:

 "Fuck him! ALL LOVE NOH8".

 So....saying 'fuck him' might sort of cancel out the attempt at moral propaganda. Just sayin'.


Dad always said opinions are like assholes-everyone's got one.

And here's mine. 

First of all, the wording of the comment is just ridiculous. 'NOH8'? Is this what we're coming to? Doesn't anyone just use words anymore?  For crying out loud, the word 'hate' is only 4 letters-do we really have to shorten it to 'H8'? I hate that I know that 'H8' is the word 'hate'. Text speak is not cool yo.


Now don't get me wrong, I love the F word. But I also respect the fact that not everyone else does. I can be a lady, even if I have a sailor's mouth.  The total lack of respect that people seem to have for one another is appalling.  I'm not saying we need to wear daisies in our hair and hug trees but for god sakes have some compassion for one another. We're all on this planet together.

Ok. Deep breath.
Step off the soap box.

I am so often disappointed in humanity. It's because I work retail. And before that, I waited tables. I get to see a lot of people every day and every day I see things I wish I didn't.

But today, the good outweighed the bad.

We were crazy busy in the shop. I saw an elderly woman struggling with a heavy bag. My coworker is about to burst with child so she couldn't help and I was in the middle of a conversation with another customer. I was about to excuse myself politely when I saw a young boy, probably about 10, walk up to the woman and offer to carry the bag to her car. The woman was grateful and the boy did it so....naturally....that I had to say something.

We died down a bit and I stepped out from behind the counter to go talk to him. He held eye contact and smiled politely as I complimented his extreme awesomeness.  I told him it was just so great to see that someone his age was willing to help and so very polite. I complimented his grandma too who smiled and said, "He was trained right."

Yes ma'am he was.

That youngster renewed my belief that the world isn't entirely filled with text speaking shitbags. Maybe there's hope for the future after all.

Breaking Up with Food

I have an unhealthy relationship with food. Ben and Jerry have been friends with benefits for years and the only 'benefit' I can see is that my ass is getting bigger.

I can't let it keep growing. My ass I mean. Or this unhealthy relationship with food. I need to break up with Ben and Jerry for good

I mean, we might still see each other but just until I find something else. You know, like fruit.

Seriously?

How the hell does fruit substitute for something that's named after the most beloved sweets of all time? Red Velvet Cake ice cream? Boston Cream Pie? Oatmeal Cookie Chunk? Chocolate Therapy?

That's what it is actually. Therapy. I'm gonna have to hear that differently in my head when using it to describe sweet treats from now on. Gonna pronounce it 'the rapy'.  As in the fat cells are raping the logical part of my brain that says 'no, you don't need that'.


Since I've started working in retail I'm much more aware of product placement. I get why they put the gum and candy bars right by the register. Those goodies are placed there so that you see them while you're waiting for the old lady in front of  you to finish writing her check. They are there to softly call to you while you scan the tabloid headlines. The candy bars especially try to woo from their little cardboard homes.  Fuckers.

Product placement works way more than I'm willing to admit.  They don't stock the Halloween candy in August to help you get a jump start on the holiday. They do it so you get a jump start on diabetes.

I'm not really blaming 'them'. I should have better will power and stop being all Ado Annie (she's just a girl that "cain't say no" fellow Oklahoma musical fans) about it. I've been getting better about walking right past the bakery with all it's yummy bread things. I've used the stationary bike a couple times for something other than a coat rack.

Ok I haven't really tried. Mostly because I hate exercise and love pastries. And ice cream.  I can't even go halfway with it and switch to B&J's FroYo. I mean, it's not like I haven't tried. It's damn tasty. Too tasty. But  my unhealthy relationship includes binging.  Christ, I'm half bulimic.

I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm feeling sad, happy, angry or frustrated. I eat instead of having a relationship. I eat because I'm not having sex. At least when I eat I can get instant gratification.  Not that 'instant' is really what I'm looking for...

All of this has sort of hit me over the last few days. It's weird, it's not like I suddenly blew up to parade float size-I've always been a big girl. But now it doesn't feel like it's about losing weight so I can stop describing myself that way. It's about getting healthy so I can live a long time. I want to be around my friends for a really long time. I want to watch  the Child of Corn grow up. I want to make a family of my own someday. I fear the day that dad isn't here anymore, but I don't want to go before he does either.  I wanna LIVE. I wanna see things and go places and meet people and be freaking awesome for years.

It starts with knowing I have this unhealthy relationship. Now I gotta work on letting go so I can move forward.

Sigh.

I hate break-ups.

So Tired, Couldn't Even Sleep

I handed a tissue to a woman crying over her cat's recent death.

 I politely smiled and nodded appropriately when politics were being discussed.

I interpreted some very broken English and tried to help a woman that didn't even know we sold pet food.

I told a drunk woman I wasn't going to help her anymore and I asked a homeless person to stop asking for change outside my store.

I judged a barista for her customer service skills.

I told a food rep that I would love to set up a meeting.

I went out into the cold rain to get mail that didn't have my name spelled correctly on it.

I had a migraine. Again.

I left late.

At the end of the day, what is it?

It's just kibble.

 

Today I Heard...

"You seem less happy."

"What about hypnosis?"

"I miss you."

"I'm proud of you."

"I love you too sweetheart."

"Are you ok?"

"Did you do something different to your hair?"

"You type fast."

"Thank you for your help today."

"Sounds like some irrational self deprecation if you ask me."

"Remember me? Yeah, I'm 20 now."

"Don't worry, it's melting."

"You're paranoid for other people!"

"Good morning!"

"Did you hear that?"

"Do you like stroganoff?"


*giggle*
 
"Must be your lucky day!"

"Oh! I'm so sorry. He peed."

"Feeling a little sub-par today."

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Travel safely!"

"You need a vacation."

"We need to watch some drag queens."

From Next Door

The people upstairs don't argue in English.

They have a little girl that talks to my cat through the window. She goes to school everyday at 8:30. When I'm about to step into the shower, I hear her go down the stairs with her dad. He sometimes parks in my space and it pisses off my friend.

His wife isn't a very nice lady. She has a look on her face like she's just smelled something awful and she has bags under her eyes. She doesn't smile.

She argues.

She yells in her native tongue fiercely. It is her conversation and he has no choice but to listen.  He shouts back but only to be heard.  There is a sadness to his tone. A subtle plead of 'please stop' but she is relentless.

I wish I didn't understand them.