Rawr

Fuck you ovary. Fuck you with a spoon because it will hurt more.

At least I don't feel as crazy as I usually do this time of the month. And for the record guys, yeah-it is almost the whole month. You have one week (or more) of bleeding, complete with cramps, bloating, weird food cravings and more cramps. You have two weeks (ish)  when your body is preparing for the bleeding. Your egg drops and depending on if your fallopian tubes are allies or not (mine are not) you have pain as it travels down into the Almighty Uterus. Often all of this is accompanied with sore and/or tender and/or swollen breasts.

It has been my experience that most men find this part of the month their favorite.

Because of the boobs? Yes. But also because (and this is 100% true) women are sending off sex vibes to you. Or entire body wants us to reproduce and it wants to tell you about it.


We wear perfume and makeup and short skirts and low cut tops and high heels and all those other things usually the most around this time of the month.  We want you to notice us, mount us and impregnate us with your seed.

Doesn't that just make it sound...animalistic?

But does a tiger get to blog about her period? No.

And that's what separates us.





*You get a bonus Cool point if you caught that reference.

Hell yes I'm keeping track.