Being an Empath

So quickly things can change.

I've been learning more about what it means to be an empath and it kind of sucks.

You feel fucking everything. When someone you care for hurts, you hurt too. If they are angry, sometimes you get angry too. It's a weird thing to be-empathetic.

I'm not always a fan.

Empathy: the psychological identification with or vicarious  experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitude of another

Or....

Feeling everything about everyone all at the same time as 
feeling your own feelings. 


I sometimes wish I didn't feel things so strongly. It would be so much easier if I could just be logical for a day. If I could ignore all the parts inside of me that are begging to cry or curl up on the corner of the couch and pretend I'm all alone. 

I don't even want to be around my cats when I get like this. I become so withdrawn and sad. I make myself watch cartoons and eat food-though the junk food seems easy enough to consume.  I go to bed early because I feel emotionally exhausted and then toss and turn all night. 

I don't have a reason to feel sad. I'm in a great relationship-truly, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. There isn't anything wrong but it feels like everything is. 

I don't know if its because I'm extra empathetic or if I'm just conquering a dark spot. I don't know what it is but it sucks and I just kinda wish I could stop feeling it for a little while. 

I want to know what it's like to not feel this way all the time.