I don't like right now.
In the middle of now my heart feels sad and unshed tears burn. I watch tv and try to think of anything but what rolls in my mind. I can't focus. Except when I'm focusing on something so intensely that a headache develops. I drink coffee and not enough water. I'm not hungry unless I'm eating.
I desperately try to shift my thinking towards happier things, but it doesn't work. It comes out in my dreams. Any anxiety I've denied while awake pours out through mumbled sentences in an unconscious fog. I'm so tired but I'm not sleeping.
There's a glimmer of what can only be hope deep inside me and even though it's small-I can still see it so I know. It will be better later.
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