I was talking with a girlfriend the other day and it occurred to us that women basically only feel 'normal' one week a month. It varies from the individual of course, but generally speaking? That whole, 'bitches be crazy' thing isn't really that far off. It's because our hormones are raging like all the time.
And as we get older, it gets worse. It feels like puberty in reverse. You still get horny at weird times, things are changing in size and you find yourself eating nothing but junk food.
I live with a man now. One that I care for and kind of don't want to freak out with my hormonal weirdness. I yelled at the water dispenser tonight and then grabbed my pint of Ben and Jerry's like it was Gollum's Precious. I could scare him.
So I decided to create a list of all the possible PMS symptoms I'll have in the course of my lifetime.
Or next month.
Sweet cravings-Hi Ben, Jerry. Nice to see you again
Salty cravings
Meat cravings-seriously, I could live on ribeyes
Sexy time cravings
Fatigue
Restlessness
Trouble sleeping
Sleeping a ton
Heightened anxiety
Heightened depression (Yay.)
Severe cranky pants
Severe sad pants for literally no reason. I've cried at TV commericals, South Park episodes, and because the soap was too slippery.
Heightened sensitivity
Low self confidence or the "Everything I wear makes me look fat" feeling
Clumsiness
Forgetfullness
Easily distracted
Indecision
Sore boobs
Itchy nipples
Pimples-seriously, wtf?
Ovulation cramps
First day cramps
Headaches
Bloating
Oh, and bleeding.
I could have any combination of these symptoms, at any given time. For three weeks out of the month. It's enough to make you crazy.
Brace Yourself...My Period is Coming
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