Happy

I didn't sleep well at all last night and this morning it feels a bit like some evil little imp came and shoved cotton up my nose while I was unconscious. I can't afford to get sick right now-I truly don't have time.

One of my staffers called last night and quit. Her last day is the 31st and I wish her so much luck and happiness because I'm her friend but I'm stressing out about the upcoming inventory counts because I'm her boss. I hate inventory.

My wifi went all stupid this morning and it wasn't until I finally picked up the phone to call Comcast that it started working properly. Like it knew.

Its raining and drab and kinda cold and so very winter today. I have a long day at work ahead of me and I'd like very much to just crawl under my blankets and try that sleep thing one more time.

I smashed my thumb in a cupboard yesterday and of course I have hit it no less than a dozen times since.

BUT

I'm happy.

I sang a silly little song about a jar of cookie butter in my pantry and it made me laugh and I took a moment to just laugh at myself.

I had a text from my more than friend waiting for me this morning-just like every morning since we've started being more than friends-and it made me reflect on how far I've come since He Who Shall Not Be Named.  I used to think that he damaged me, ruined me for anyone else but now I wonder if maybe he didn't help me.

If I hadn't gone through all that, if I hadn't known what I absolutely don't want or need, I couldn't appreciate this new wonder that has come over me.

This feels easy, comfortable, exciting and complete. I feel like we've known each other always as we get to know each other more each day. He makes me laugh and think about things and he's kind and being with him feels like I'm finally where I'm supposed to be.

But my happiness isn't just because of him and that's new too. In the past, being happy had relied on whether or not I had a guy in my life. This time, I went in slow, let things develop on their own and made sure that my head and heart were in a good place. I have taken good friends' advice and not overanalyzed things, looking for something to be wrong. I'm just enjoying it. And him. My more than friend...