Happy Birthday

Hi Mama
Hi Honey, how are you?
I'm ok.
Just ok?
Well, tomorrow is your birthday.
That's right! How old would I have been?
61.
61! Wow that's young, isn't it?
Yes it is Mama
What have you been up to the last eight years?
How much time do you have Mom?
Honey. I have all the time in the world.

I swear I can hear her voice. I can smell her perfume and hear her bracelets sing while she claps her hands at something that wasn't very funny. Except to her. I can feel her arms around me, holding me while I cry and her hands stroking my head. I can hear her humming gentle folk songs into my hair and smell her shampoo. She is with me so strongly right now. The day before her birthday.

But I can't hear her advice. I can't hear what she might say if I asked her for advice about work or about a guy I was dating. I can't taste her banana bread even if I have the recipe committed to memory. I can smell the scent Opium but never again on her skin. I wish she was here so strongly right now. The day before her birthday.


Hi Mama