Always a Good Thing

Sigh.

I feel all weepy and shit. It's ridiculous. I started out today in a fantastic mood. I got to brew myself some coffee, read a little of my book, I slept in and woke up before the alarm-always a good thing. I went to work and things were running smoothly, the customers were great-even got to hold a puppy today-always a good thing. But then I lost it a little bit.

I felt this ball of frustration start to build and I mentally squashed it down. I thought of all the good things that were happening right now and eventually was calm. I put on my manager hat and laid down a little law-constructively-always a good thing. But then I got home and I called a friend that needed someone to listen and as I did, I admit my mind wandered a bit. It didn't go very far.  It always goes to the same places anyway. But it made me feel a little sad.

When I can't figure out why I'm sad, or moody, or why ice cream seems like a good idea for dinner, I automatically go to the calender to see what time of the month it is. Today was no exception and instead of finding relief from my self induced emotional ride, I just hopped on another one. Anger. Fuck you menstrual cycle. I mean seriously, what the fuck?  I'm not even USING you right now, so can you leave my mental state alone?

It's so frustrating to feel this way. It's difficult sometimes to have emotions that just don't make sense and that you don't have any control over. It's harder still to try and explain to someone that they aren't really an asshole, it's just that everyone is right now.




Sigh.

.