Killer

She was working again. I frowned on the inside a little bit. I was already cranky and this woman's vibe was never exactly...pleasant.

She was the only one working the front and this morning she was dusting the conveyor belt of Register 3. I had no choice, I was going in her line.

There was no smile on her face, but there was pride. She looked tired too. She always did. And angry at something that had happened hours ago. I'd seen her before, my day just beginning as hers was ending. She was an older woman in a red jumper and black Velcro shoes. Even her clothes were cranky.

I watched her go behind the counter and carefully put her duster away, ignoring my presence as long as she could. I could feel myself getting more cranky and I made a decision.

Working in customer service is hard and not everyone is nice. In order to not take that personally I had to learn there's only one thing I can do when someone is exceptionally grumpy or rude. I kill them. With kindness. In 30+ years, I've gotten pretty good at it. I take great pride in getting even the most cantankerous cashier to smile. It challenges me and ultimately, it puts me in a better mood too.

I needed to do that again. Right now. With an exhausted grocery store clerk, coming off the graveyard shift. I needed to kill her.

"Good morning!" I grinned. I knew it wouldn't work, she always ignored me when I said it the first time.

A moment later, I tried again. "Hi! Good morning!"

This time she looked up and her mouth moved into a pressed thin line. "Good morning." Not even a fake lilt of cheerfulness to her tone. She sounded like she was reading from a script.

She said her next line in monotone. "How are you today?" She didn't even look at the items as they moved across the register. Her hands are on autopilot. Her face is towards me but she's not looking at me, her eyes are bored.

"I'm great," I lie, still smiling. You're not going to win this.  I glance at her name tag and note she has an unusual name. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thank you." I can tell she's used to this being the end of Grocery Store Interaction with Random Customer but today...things are different.

It's nearly time for her to announce my total.  My transaction won't take much longer. I make my move as the last yogurt cup beeps.

"How do you pronounce your name?"

She pauses, thrown from her routine. She looks at me for a moment, then at her name tag as though surprised to find it there. She meets my eyes and swallows, says her name strongly. The same pride I saw when she was cleaning her station comes through in her voice and my view of her begins to take shape.

I tell her it's a lovely name and her face lights up. Suddenly, she's lovely too. "Thank you."

She instructs me on how to use the debit card I use every day and money is exchanged for goods. I ask her politely, "Do you like working the graveyard shift?"

Her face still holds some of the warmth that came when she was asked about her name and she smiles- a real smile- one that touches her eyes. She tells me she does like it; It works with her husband's schedule.

I nod, smiling back at her."That makes all the difference doesn't it?"

I take my bag and head towards the door. I feel a little lighter than when I first walked in. I've decided to try and do this more often with more people.  I'm thinking about all the opportunities I might have in my day to kill when she calls after me, suddenly off script.

"Have a nice day!" she says and the tone is warm now, and friendly. I wave back with a "You too" and then I'm out the door into the winter morning a little not surprised it ended this way.

I smile to myself as I start the car.  Still got it Killer.