In My Mind

I have a tightness in my chest that I've never felt before. It terrifies me but I know it's not going to last. It's just life.

I have a million things to think about and I don't want anything to be on my mind.

I've been so exhausted. And raw. Like a newly made scratch. Red and puffy and angry and not quite bleeding. Raw.

I feel like I might be a little crazy and I can't be sure but I think I'm doing it to myself. I go through my day but I'm on autopilot and that doesn't work that well at work.

I feel like if you looked at me, you'd know. I fear you'd ask me that dreaded question, "Are you ok?" Because I'd feel like I have to say I was when I'm not and then I'd have to walk away or I'd cry.

I can't seem to relax. My mind is going one way and then back another. In between racing thoughts, I make mistakes at work. I cry when someone is kind to me and I wake screaming from nightmares.

I feel...indescribable.