Pep Blog

I have some pretty ridiculous self esteem issues. I can step away from myself and realize they're ridiculous so why can't I just let them go?

I have to give myself little pep blogs to remind myself that I'm not as fucked up as my mind wants me to think I am.

First off, your nostrils aren't that big. They might have once been described as a coke lover's dream. They might have been the first thing a friend said she noticed of you, but they aren't that much out of proportion that you should be in a sideshow or anything.

You are not as big as Jabba the Hutt.  You were smaller 20 years ago, that's true. Just accept who you are. Someday someone will find you attractive in just the right way.  But not until you let yourself believe it first. You can try exercising-even though you loathe it, do you loathe the idea that you could add some years to your life more?

Most people aren't going to see that hair on your chin. The people that might see it are your friends and they would rip it out for you if you asked because they are amazing friends. So what if one guy one time said something about the hair above your lip? You're nowhere near a Chaplin-stache so breathe a little.

 You deserve to want to live a long time. Things remind you all the time how short life is. Why would you spend any of it being angry with yourself?  Try to accept things more for the way they are and embrace the moment instead of fearing it. If you're happy, let yourself be. If you're not, find out why and try like hell to fix it. Continue to take joy in the little things this life gives everyday. Listen to yourself more and probably a million other things that could be embroidered on a sampler.

I'm trying so hard to find the balance between letting myself just be who I am and totally hating who that person is. I like who I am on the inside and even some of the outside bits but I can't seem to believe it completely when I'm complimented. I've gotten a lot better but I ride the roller coaster of 'Do I Suck, am I Awesome' too often.

Maybe it's not as black and white as that.

I already know that being awesome with suck moments is better than the other way around so maybe I could start there.

Put that on your grandma's sampler.