I Don't Know

I can feel that things are going to change soon. It scares me and thrills me at the same time.

I often get this way this time of year. The buds of new beginnings are decorating dark tree branches and the sun is shining more. Changed from the gray skies that have been for months.

I want to talk to my dad about the things I want to do but I'm afraid he'll say what he always does. He doesn't understand why I don't have my license yet. Sometimes I don't either. I talk to him about everything but this...feels like I need to do it on my own. But do what?

I am so inspired by others. I've seen several friends take that scary plunge of doing something different and watched them spread their wings and fly.

My fear is that I'll start to fly and just keep flying until I'm so exhausted I don't know where I am and then...I fall. I suppose that's everyone's fear.

Every time I'm away from home, I don't miss it. That's always been a sign it was time to move on. But there are things that need to happen first and I understand that. But most of the time, I just want to say fuck it and run away. I suppose that's everyone's thought sometimes.

I've got to figure myself out.