Whine

Do you ever just feel....sad all of a sudden? And then the sadness kind of tumbles into another sad thought and then another and then you're brow is furrowed with almost tears.

It usually starts with a thought of someone that isn't here anymore. Or of a life changing moment I haven't yet made.

Sometimes it's triggered from a song on the radio or a line from a movie.

It doesn't really matter-it just hurts.

I try to write then and all I can think about is how I'm not writing the book I promised myself I'd have written by winter.

Winter is coming and I promised myself I'd have more done by then. My Book isn't anywhere close to being complete. I've let work once more become my main focus on life and it's depressing, yet necessary.

I need to work to make money to write. I don't anticpate gaining any finances for My Book but just having it complete will mean more than money ever could.

I've lost touch with some of my friends-I haven't even talked to my friend that wants a baby in a long time and I can't think about how to tell him I don't know if that's what I want anymore. I don't even know for sure if that's what I don't want.

I guess I just don't know.

I work, I see a couple friends, I watch Netflix, I eat, I sleep....That's my life.

Fuck.